Blog - Personal leadership coaching

Help & Support

What support do you need?

What does support look like to you?

I’ll admit for a long time I rarely asked for help with anything. I saw it as a weakness. My belief was that strong, independent women don’t need help or support. They just do what needs to get done. What a bunch of crap!

Smart women know how to ask for help and support. The thing we aren’t always taught is how to ask for help. Asking for help and support is not a weakness.

Asking for help is a strength.

We can’t possibly know everything. It’s hard to do anything by yourself. Work is often structured around teams. Raising children takes a village. Being effective and your best requires support.

What does support or help entail?

Know what you need help or support with. Identify where or who to ask for help or support. Ask a question in a facebook group. Use google. Be specific when you ask for help.

Friends and family may be helpful depending on what it is you are trying to accomplish. If you’re doing something outside your comfort zone, find someone who has already achieved what you’re trying to do. Look in your network. Get a mentor. Hire help.

I’ve hired coaches and personal trainers. Use your network to build connections. Expand your skillset. If I did everything on my own I wouldn’t have the benefit from learning from other people’s experiences and avoid costly mistakes.

Ask yourself, What do you need help and support with?

If you got that help or support what would be different for you?

by Kim Wilkish

Energize & Declutter

Clutter Clutter Everywhere…

Does your physical environment energize you or drain you?

The holidays are over. The decorations have come down. The gifts you have received need to find a home. It’s time to purge.

Time to clean out the things that no longer are used or clothes outgrown. I try to do this before the holidays to make space for new things. There is always more to do after the holidays.

Time to purge

I go through the kitchen cabinets and remove any items that are expired. Then I head to the bathroom and toss things that are old or expired. I’m not a huge makeup person so if I haven’t used something in a while it’s most likely due to be tossed. There is usually some over the counter medication, first aid kit items, sunscreen or bug spray that need to go.

Then, there are the paper items things to sort; keep for taxes or shred.

The yearly beginning of the year ritual to replace the family calendar with a new one. Then the action to record the family birthdays, days off from the school and any other events.

Onto the bedroom and closets. Living in New England, I find the change of the seasons to be a better time to do this.

The home office. That is the tough one. As it becomes my central storage for everything for holidays. The wrapping paper, boxes, tape, craft supplies, gift receipts…items from other rooms you name it.

When it’s cluttered and stuff is everywhere it adds stress. When everything has a home and things are in place. Ahhh. I can get to work, be productive and get things done.

Declutter to Energize

Take a few minutes to tidy up and clean off the desk at the end of the day. It makes it better to approach work the next day.

The key is not to overwhelm yourself. Pick one thing whether it’s a cabinet or a room and clean that up. Get rid of what no longer suits you. Then move on to the next.

Your environment affects your stress level, your mood, productivity and ability to relax.

by Kim Wilkish

Goals

Have you set goals for yourself?

It’s New Year resolutions time. I heard that only 8% of people that set New Year resolutions actually achieve them. A resolution is a decision. A decision without commitment and action becomes an unachieved resolution. I prefer to set personal goals.

Goals need action and attention to become achieved.

If you have ever worked in a corporate environment you’re probably familiar with setting goals. Go ahead it’s ok to groan. It’s not an uncommon reaction. As goals (priorities, objectives, activities, whatever the flavor/label of the month is), become the foundation for performance reviews. Trust me. I know. I’ve lived it. Performance reviews are not always a satisfying experience.

Contributing to something that has meaning is much more satisfying and when your contributions are recognized, that is the icing on the cake.

Setting personal goals is important.

Having goals contributes to your growth, development, health and success. Every year regardless of what is required of the “job” I always set personal goals. Sometimes they may align with my “job” and sometimes they don’t.

It is my personal goals that ultimately contribute to my happiness and success in life.

Due Dates

I set personal goals without specific due dates. This approach isn’t one I would recommend if you’re a procrastinator or generally don’t achieve your goals. I know some procrastinators love to wait and then stress themselves out working to meet a timeline. This motivates them. If that is what works for you then use that approach in your goal setting.

Don’t put your date out too far if you really want to get something done.

When I am setting a goal for myself, I look at things with a monthly or quarterly approach. I have an idea of when I want to get things done and I work toward that. For me, I don’t need the stress that a due date causes me. I’m not fan of “changing due dates”. If I have something important that has to be done by a certain date then I will set a due date and meet the date.

Artificial Due Dates

There is nothing that drives me more insane than when a due date is “artificially” set to try to drive something. Worse is when it’s learned that it’s acceptable to not meet due dates as people aren’t held accountable and a mindset to ” just change the date” at the last minute. This is my biggest pet peeve. Why? It’s because it deflates and kills the motivation of the person who busted their butt, rearranged priorities and commitments to get their work done.

If a date is randomly picked by someone and not met, it’s often a signal that there was never any buy-in to the commitment or agreement made on the commitment by the stakeholders that need to execute the work. If there is no buy-in or agreement made by the stakeholders then it’s usually a sign of a power play which demonstrates a lack of trust or lack of relationship with the stakeholders.